Why do people fail at relationships?
- Relationnship Failure, Misunderstandings, Possessiveness, Beliefs, Self-centeredness, Blame, Mental Health
It's no wonder that some people mess up their relationship within a 2 or 3 months period. I guess you'd be one among them as you are in here. I love to talk about love and we shouldn't forget that without some of the darker parts of coupledom like arguments, fights, and problems. After all, without the dark, we wouldn't have the light!
I can say it's a challenge than a problem itself, we happen to take it as a problem when we fail to find a proper solution for it. It's there everywhere at our work, in our relationships, etc. it doesn't matter how big the problem or challenge is, all that matters is how we face it. Few take it as sportive and fix it, who not able to fix it will worry about the challenge as a problem. In relationships, the problems come due to misunderstandings assumptions, possessiveness, and taking everything for granted.
Follow this little guide to get help and solve these five common and crucial relationship problems.
1. Lack of communication during some misunderstanding
Because two different personalities come together in a common bond of love and commitment, bringing along with them their idiosyncrasies, egos, beliefs, rules, and regulations...which need not be followed or agreed upon by the other person. That's why the concepts of compromise and communication have been advised. It is not recommended to interrupt or yell your point out while your significant other is trying to open up about the issues you guys are facing. Keeping Silent for a little time with a cute smile in face and being patient, and allowing the person to speak or lending your ears listening to what exactly means to say. Then give your reply in such a manner that you don't hurt the other.
2. Excessive insecurity
Needs constant reassurance and adoration, which is You need to be told by your partner that you look beautiful because the way it sounds makes you feel wears off and the need for you to keep being reassured that they love you, want you, need you, admire you. They may want to be around you always or as much as possible including being controlling and possessive Want to spend every second with you and may always need to hold hands, kiss, and all that stuff I don't much like to do in public. Act as though you are all his/hers and no one else will have a thing to do with you.no matter how long you trust your partner or vice versa, this prevails in every relationship.
3. Predominate self-centeredness
Being self-centered can also refer to someone who is mostly interested in themself. This can lead to carelessness or intolerance. A self-centered person can be selfish, devoted to themself, to the exclusion of others instead of for others.
Some people will put down others to make themself feel better, the meaner he/she is, the better he/she will feel about himself and that's who it's about. They don't feel so great about him/her so they look to others to make them feel better in any way they can.
There could only be one reason, that is ' You are blind in love'.If you know that the person is self-centered and mean then loving him or she is like running on the way of self-destruction and maybe it is not the love that you think of. Love is the purest form or emotion, something you find about someone pure and divine and you love them. If one has known meanness and self-cantered then it does not love it is an attraction or probably lust.
4. Blame shifting
Blame shifting is a mental and emotionally abusive behavior. In psychological terms, it can be defined as "the ego defends itself against unconscious impulses or qualities (both positive and negative) by denying their existence in themselves by attributing them to others". When your better-half blames you for every other reason no matter how serious or silly it is. At first, you may not realize the fact that the fault is with them and not you. But as it goes on like this, you may feel like you're never enough for them and sometimes when you are suffering from low self-esteem then it might make sense to you that everything he blames you for is your fault.
But if you go more in detail you may get to know that your significant other possesses the character of a narcissist. Remember that it is not going to be easy for you to make them to accept their mistakes and apologize. you would have to take him/her to a mental health counselor before it gets serious anytime, if not it is going to tear your heart and self-confidence apart.
5. Silent treatment
According to psychologists, the silent treatment is considered abuse. one should know that it not only happens in a romantic relationship it also exists between the family that is between mother and children, father and children, or maybe between siblings as well.it causes emotional damage as much as physical damage does. When one decides to give the silent treatment to the other, it most likely means that they are least interested in the relationship are they are trying to give up on their relationship.
but I wouldn't say that giving silent treatment is not always as bad as it is being said, you are supposed to give the silent treatment to somebody who treats you or behaves like a piece of crap. He/she deserves such kind of treatment in such cases. People who use silent treatment pretty much often in a relationship then he or she possesses a characteristic of narcissistic behavior. Sometimes you would have to end the relationship with that person if it gets any serious in the future.
6. Narcissistic personality disorder
One should know that narcissistic behavior is not connected with self-centredness or self-respect etc. but a real narcissist is someone who doesn't have empathy for others or someone who thinks that the world revolves around them. They mainly aim for constant attention and admiration from others. Most probably, they either make others feel like a piece of crap or hurt their feelings in high intensity which may lead to depression or traumatic incidents for their significant other. They always believe that there's no one superior to them and every other person admire him/her. A narcissistic person in a relationship will always make it about him/her and make you feel like you are no one to them. When you dig deeper into their life and their past relationships, you may discover that there wouldn't be any long time relations or friends.
When you are in a relationship with the other one should make sure that they value others as much as they value themselves, which is foremost important in a relationship. You should always treat others or your significant other the way you want to be treated by others. Relationship constantly evolves along with trust and love, which shouldn't be broken by any of them in a relationship. one should also be confident enough to walk out of a relationship when it starts to affect you emotionally or physically no matter how long you have been in the relationship with that particular person. One should always value, respect, and love themselves before loving somebody.